Disconnected - The Illusion of Companionship

Disconnected - The Illusion of Companionship

As technology evolves and becomes more integrated into our lives, the way we communicate with others evolve, but are we truly connected? Evolution in technology is negatively affecting us starting as teenagers, by creating an environment that normalizes text communication over peer-to-peer interaction, which have behavioral and physical consequences. Text communication, and the ability to work from anywhere affects our ability to see the beauty around us, and to focus on the things that matter the most to our loved ones. Often, we feel that being connected makes us less lonely, but some research has shown that being more connected makes us lonelier. Although there are some positives to the use of technology, these options have their limitations.

Daddy, can I have a cell phone? Can you recall the time where you may have wanted a cell phone, and what the reason was? Teenagers today are more and more connected with their cell phones. You see them at the grocery store, walking down the street, at restaurants and even at the movie theaters. With technology growing, and the demand for these devices only to get higher, how is it truly affecting our children? The effects of excessive use of technology is having negative effects on the mind and body. As these demands grow, children and teenagers will become less involved with family interactions and face-to-face interactions, which will prompt antisocial behaviors causing shyness and anxiety. According to (Burley, Gardiner and Robinson 41), excessive use of technology by teenagers has been proven to have a profound impact on the functions of the brain and body. According to a study conducted by the University of Western Australia, it was found that just three hours of screen time a day, every day for an extended amount of time, that side effects begin to show. These side effects include physical effects such as obesity, reduced physical capabilities, poor sleep habits and increased consumption of unhealthy foods. It also has a few common mental health effects, such as loneliness, depressional, higher levels of anxiety, internet addiction and reduced time with the family.

The more technology has advanced, the more devices we see when we’re out and about. These devices prevent us from seeing the beauty around us, and experiencing things that are important to our loved ones. Long ago you could walk down the street and see kids playing in the park, others admiring a sculpture or piece of art, walking in the sand along the ocean. As people become more connected on their devices it will prevent them from being able to see the full picture of their surroundings. For instance, if Robert is in the zoo, and an animal does a cute trick or motion that lasts for a split second, how would he capture that experience if he’s distracted by his device? It’s the small experiences that we have that make our lives feel whole.  These instances disconnect us from the world and people around us. Imagine Robert at his son’s football game, he’s replying to Susan about when they’re going to put up Christmas lights; meanwhile, his son Gabriel just scored a touchdown, won the game in over-time and is super excited, he looks for his dad, and sees him distracted. These distractions cause us to be disconnected from things that matter the most to the people around us and can cause real harm to the relationships we have with them. From the section, “My Turn”, (Coleman), “Technology, for the most part, creates the illusion of intimacy. As marvelous as it can be, it also foils us. It keeps us from the best of ourselves and enables us to avoid others. It makes us into intimate strangers”.

            Often we feel that being connected makes us less lonely, however, some research shows that being more connected makes us lonelier. Imagine for a moment, when loneliness sets it, what do we do? Often, we jump to social media, or to texting or some other form of socializing with others that don’t involve face-to-face interactions. This happens especially with online dating. According to Sherry Turkle, who makes several wonderful points, “Technology appeals to us most when we are most vulnerable, and we are vulnerable. We’re lonely but afraid of intimacy. And so, from social networks to sociable robots, we are designing technologies that will give us the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship. We return to technology to help us feel connected in ways we can comfortably control, but we are not so comfortable. We are not so much in control (Turkle). There is a lot of truth in what she said. Further, she went on to explain that the phones we carry are changing our minds and hearts because they offer us three gratifying fantasies, 1) that we can put our attention where we want it to be; 2) that we will always be heard; and 3) that we will never have to be alone. The third fantasy is the most important one, because the moment we’re alone for even just a few seconds, we must direct our attention somewhere. Being alone feels like a problem that needs to be solved.

            Although research has shown that using technology to communicate with other people when we may be limited by our own anxieties, these benefits may have limitations. Take for instance, online therapy (Tweed). Technology has made it possible for us to connect to Tele-health and online therapy sessions. These sessions can be beneficial for those who are unable to attend in-person therapy sessions or are uncomfortable with face-to-face communications. Personally, anxiety has been so debilitating at times that appointments would go un-visited or scheduled far apart from each other because the face-to-face interactions made me feel ashamed and uncomfortable to me. Therefore, phone conversations during the pandemic became easier, and more natural. Although these options make it easier for those who have these issues, there are some negative aspects of these human-less contacts. With phone interactions, these therapies can feel impersonal, and the visual ‘cues’ that would normally been seen in the in-person sessions often go unnoticed. These moments are the crucial, and often pivotal moments in therapy sessions, at least from personal experience.

            Technology has many positive benefits by keeping us connected, however, there may be limitations on what its capable of doing. We must remember that there are profound effects on children and teenagers physical and mental health; limiting these activities will help facilitate face-to-face interactions, and allow for healthier relationships with others, and family. Also, to remember that we miss out on beautiful and important moments by always being on our phones. There should be safe spaces, and safe times when we are fully attentive to our surroundings and other people during special events. Finally, we are attuned to believe that always being connected means we’re not lonely. However, having a moment of brief nothingness, doesn’t mean that we’re lonely; it’s completely normal to not be connected all the time. 


 

References

Burley, Jasper, Sam Gardiner and Blake Robinson. Social Media Making Teens Antisocial. 23 April 2015.

Coleman, Jonathan. Is Technology Making Us Intimate Strangers. 10 November 2015.

Turkle, Sherry. Conntected But Alone. February 2012.     

      https://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_connected_but_alone

Tweed, Adam. Anxiety and Technology: The Positive and Negative Effects. 12 May 2023.      


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